Mariacarla Walks

As a kid, I was very insecure. I didn’t have friends, I was fat, and I was a nerd--nuff said. During recess, I would walk around the track by myself because that was easier than trying to make friends. Towards the end of elementary school, I lost some weight and learned not to raise my hand everytime I knew something, soon enough; I made a few friends who would walk the track with me. One of them asked “Why do you walk like that??” “Like what?” I responded. She replied “With your arms straight like that. You’re supposed to move your hands when you walk. That’s the normal thing to do.” So I started moving my hands while I walked. I had to think about it for what seemed like years but I made it happen. Now I walk with a sway in my arms because that’s the normal thing to do, I walk with decent posture because they say that’s the healthy thing to do, and I walk fast because well I have things to do, places to be, and people to see. Walking is just something I do. 

Mariacarla walks as if she were floating and dancing at the same time. Slowly. Crowds on the sidewalk do not move to passerbys. They pay no consideration, but Mari walks as if they are not there. Steps before, they move enough to let her through and stare on her way out. She never zigs or zags through people. Before she meets the curb she knows if she should stop or keep gliding past the fast moving traffic of Havana. 

Here cubanos appreciate beautiful women by hissing, staring, honking, or “complimenting” as you walk by. Every block, a woman could expect to receive some new kind of blunt attention. To a newcomer, this catcalling can be unsettling and make the skin crawl. 

For me, it just makes it more awkward to walk. When I have to pass by a crowd of men do I speed up? Do I slow down? Do I look straight ahead? Or wherever the fuck I feel like? 

Mari never has this problem. If she likes what she sees, she’ll pass by with a shimmer in her eye. If she doesn’t like what she sees, she’ll keep on her way as normal. Maricarla’s walk is her own. She owns it every step of the way. 

There’s no insecurity, there’s no rush, there’s no hesitation. Confidence that can only come from feeling as if the earth under your feet were only made for you to step on. I want to walk like a cubana.